Bowls Newsletter May 2020

Bowls Newsletter May 2020

18 May, 2020, 11:02 PM

NEWSLETTER  —  May, 2020

Dear Elsternwick Club Members,

Hope everyone is well and looking forward to the end of our isolation.

The green is looking amazing, and just waiting for bowlers. You have probably read that the Government is now allowing two players per rink. However, this does not apply at TEC. Cutter has announced that our green will hopefully be ready for play by August. Further details will follow closer to the date. If you wish to have a roll at this stage, you will have to ask at another Club.

Great work has been done by the staff during our enforced isolation. The old shed has been replaced and is just about completed.

All outdoor furniture has been sanded and stained. The older seats have been placed on the front lawn for you to relax on while having a coffee or a drink. The above sets have been placed outside the bar windows, and will be great when watching a game.

 The tables on the decking have been spread out to allow more room to easily move around.

 At present many of the staff, under the guidance of Rick a professional painter, are painting the Members’ Lounge and also the Gaming Room, The area is being painted a shade of “off white”, with cornices, windows and door frames painted blue to match our Club colours.

The Bowls Committee, together with the Board, will soon send you an offer too good to refuse regarding NEW SCOREBOARDS to complement our new Green. We hope to have all this in place for the start of the new season, so watch your inbox for this offer.

The Bowls Committee has finalized plans for Social Bowls for Season 2020-2021. Social Bowls will be held at TEC twice a week. Wednesdays, organized by Jack Hamilton and Max Flanigan, will commence at 1:00. Be there by 12:30 for registration. Green fees will be $10pp and this fee will include cash prizes and afternoon tea halfway through the game.  Friday afternoons, organized by David Stephenson and Greg Wood, will also cost $10pp and this will include cash prizes and a soup and crusty bread lunch. Games will commence at 1:00pm, with registration and lunch at 12:30. You are most welcome to invite friends and bowlers from other Clubs to both these events.                                                                    

Members are still regularly sending jokes, cartoons, etc to brighten our days. One of the most prolific senders is Anne Armstrong, and the following is one of her contributions.  Another one was also great, but a bit too risqué for a Bowl’s newsletter !!  Thanks Anne


A man died and went to heaven .

As he stood in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are those clocks?”


St Peter answered, “Those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you tell a lie the hands of your clock will move.”


“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man.


St Peter continued, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, indicating that Abe told only two lies in his whole life.”


The man asked, “Where’s Donald Trump’s Clock?”

St Peter replied, “It’s in Jesus office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan!”




A reminder that Walter has signed The Elsternwick Club up as members of the CUB “for the love of your local” program. With this you pay for a beer now, but when we reopen you are given that beer plus a bonus beer. Further details  from Walter at the Club (9523 9221)or on    

 Ian Thege will be contacting all bowlers with lists for next season. You will notice that numbers are fairly tight, especially of a Tuesday. So if you change your mind about playing, wish to commence playing, or know of a friend who would like to join TEC, then please let us know ASAP.

At this stage we have no official reopening times for our Club. You will be advised as soon as these times are organized. So, at this stage,  stay home but please keep contacting other Members for a chat. Your calls are warmly welcomed.

Stay well,


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